Family Safety 12 min read Updated March 2026

Family & Friends Social Media Safety Guide

How to protect your loved ones on Facebook, Instagram, and other social platforms — written in plain English.

1. Why Social Media Is Risky

Social media connects us with friends and family, but it also connects us with scammers, hackers, and people who want to steal our personal information. Understanding the risks is the first step to staying safe.

The Real Dangers

  • Identity theft. The details you share — your birthday, hometown, workplace, and family names — are exactly what criminals need to steal your identity or guess your security questions.
  • Phishing scams. Fake messages from "friends" whose accounts were hacked, asking you to click a link or send money.
  • Romance scams. Criminals create fake profiles and build relationships over weeks or months before asking for money. Americans lost over $1.3 billion to romance scams in 2024.
  • Impersonation. Scammers copy your profile photos and name to create a fake version of you, then use it to scam your friends and family.
  • Data harvesting. Those fun quizzes ("What's your spirit animal?") are often designed to collect your personal information and sell it.
Did you know? Scammers study your social media profiles before contacting you. If you post about loving your grandchildren, they may pretend to be a grandchild in trouble. If you post about being widowed, they may start a romance scam. The more you share, the more ammunition they have.

2. Facebook Privacy Settings

Facebook is the most popular social media platform for adults over 55. Unfortunately, it is also where the most scams happen. Here is how to lock down your account in about 15 minutes.

Step-by-Step: Secure Your Facebook Account

  1. Open Privacy Settings. Click your profile picture in the top right corner, then click "Settings & Privacy," then "Settings."
  2. Set posts to Friends Only. Go to Privacy > "Who can see your future posts?" and select "Friends." This means only people you have accepted as friends can see what you post.
  3. Limit old posts. In the same Privacy section, click "Limit Past Posts." This changes all your old public posts to Friends Only in one step.
  4. Control friend requests. Go to Privacy > "Who can send you friend requests?" and change it to "Friends of friends." This reduces requests from complete strangers.
  5. Hide your friends list. Go to your profile > Friends tab > pencil icon > "Edit Privacy" and set "Who can see your friends list?" to "Only me." Scammers use your friends list to target people you know.
  6. Turn off face recognition. Go to Settings > Face Recognition and set it to "No."
  7. Review tagged photos. Go to Settings > Profile and Tagging and turn on "Review tags people add to your posts before the tags appear on Facebook."
Tip: Use Facebook's Privacy Checkup tool. Go to Settings > Privacy Checkup and Facebook will walk you through each setting with clear explanations. It takes about 10 minutes.

Facebook Red Flags

  • A friend request from someone you are already friends with (their account may have been cloned)
  • Messages from friends asking you to click a link, vote for them, or send money
  • Posts from friends that seem completely out of character
  • Marketplace sellers who want to take the conversation to email or text right away
  • "Congratulations, you won!" posts or messages — you cannot win a contest you did not enter

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3. Instagram Safety

Instagram is growing quickly among adults of all ages. While it feels more visual and casual than Facebook, the same risks apply. Here is how to stay safe.

Securing Your Instagram Account

  1. Make your account private. Go to Settings > Privacy > Account Privacy and turn on "Private Account." Only people you approve can see your photos and stories.
  2. Turn on two-factor authentication. Go to Settings > Security > Two-Factor Authentication. This means even if someone gets your password, they still cannot log in without your phone.
  3. Filter message requests. Go to Settings > Privacy > Messages and set "Others on Instagram" to limit who can message you directly.
  4. Be selective about followers. You do not have to accept every follow request. If you do not know someone personally, it is perfectly fine to decline.
  5. Turn off Activity Status. Go to Settings > Privacy > Activity Status and turn it off. This prevents people from seeing when you are online.

Instagram Scams to Watch For

  • "Brand ambassador" offers. Messages claiming a company wants to pay you to promote their products. They will ask for personal or payment information.
  • Fake giveaways. Posts claiming you won a prize and need to click a link or share personal details to claim it.
  • Investment pitches. Direct messages from strangers promising amazing returns on cryptocurrency or other investments.
  • "Is this you in this video?" Messages with a link claiming to show a video of you. The link installs malware or steals your login.
Warning: Never click links sent to you in Instagram direct messages, even from people you follow. If a friend's account was hacked, the hacker will send malicious links to everyone in their contact list.

4. Common Social Media Scams

Scammers are creative, but they tend to use the same tricks over and over. Here are the most common social media scams and how to recognize them.

The Grandparent Scam

You receive a frantic message or call claiming to be from your grandchild: "Grandma, I'm in trouble and I need money right away. Please don't tell mom and dad." The scammer gets details about your grandchild from your social media profile — their name, where they go to school, what they look like.

What to do: Hang up and call your grandchild directly at their real phone number. If you cannot reach them, call their parents. Never send money based on a call or message alone.

The Clone Scam

A scammer copies your profile photos and name to create a duplicate account, then sends friend requests to your real friends. Once accepted, they message your friends asking for money or personal information.

What to do: If a friend tells you they received a second friend request from "you," report the fake account to the platform immediately. Let all your friends know publicly.

The Romance Scam

Someone contacts you, usually claiming to be a military service member, doctor, or engineer working overseas. They build an emotional connection over weeks, then start asking for money — for a plane ticket to visit you, a medical emergency, or a business investment.

What to do: Never send money to someone you have only met online. Do a reverse image search of their photos (right-click the photo and choose "Search Google for image"). Scammers steal photos from real people's accounts.

The Prize or Lottery Scam

You receive a message saying you have won a prize, gift card, or lottery. To claim it, you need to pay a "processing fee" or provide your bank information.

What to do: You cannot win a contest you did not enter. Real prizes never require upfront payment. Delete and block.

Did you know? You can do a reverse image search to check if someone's profile photo is stolen. On a computer, right-click the photo and select "Search Google for image." If the same face shows up under different names, it is a fake profile.

5. Protecting Children and Teens

If you have grandchildren or younger family members on social media, you can help protect them too. Young people face unique risks online, including cyberbullying, predators, and pressure to share too much.

Age-Appropriate Guidelines

  • Under 13: Most social media platforms (including Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok) require users to be at least 13. If a younger child is using these platforms, they are technically breaking the rules — and missing important safety protections.
  • Ages 13-15: Use the platform's parental controls. On Instagram, Family Center lets parents see who their teen follows and set time limits. Accounts should be private.
  • Ages 16-17: Teens at this age want more independence, which is natural. Focus on open conversations about what they share and who they interact with, rather than strict monitoring.

Warning Signs to Watch For

  • Sudden secrecy about their phone or computer use
  • Receiving gifts or packages from someone you do not know
  • Becoming withdrawn, anxious, or upset after using their device
  • An older person they met online who wants to meet in person
  • Sharing location information or personal details with people they have never met
Tip: Rather than spying on your grandchild's social media, try to be their "friend" or "follower" online. This gives you visibility into their posts without making them feel surveilled. Ask them to show you how the platform works — kids love teaching adults about technology.

6. Having the Conversation with Family

Talking to family members about online safety can be awkward — especially if you are the one being asked to be more careful. Here is how to have productive conversations without hurt feelings.

If You Want to Help an Older Family Member

  • Lead with respect. Nobody wants to feel patronized. Start with: "I just learned something interesting about online safety — can I share it with you?"
  • Share your own experience. "I almost fell for a scam last month" is more effective than "You need to be more careful."
  • Offer to help, not lecture. "Can I help you set up two-factor authentication?" works better than "You should have two-factor authentication."
  • Be patient. It might take a few conversations. That is okay.
  • Make it a regular topic. Brief, occasional check-ins ("Seen any weird emails lately?") are better than one long lecture.

If Someone Is Worried About YOUR Safety

  • Listen with an open mind. They are coming from a place of love.
  • Ask them to show you. If they say a setting needs changing, ask them to walk you through it on your actual device.
  • It is okay to ask for help. Technology changes fast. Nobody is expected to know everything.
  • Set a boundary if needed. "I appreciate your help with settings, but I'd like to make my own decisions about what I post" is a fair thing to say.
Did you know? Studies show that people are most likely to change their behavior when they feel respected and in control of the decision. Lecturing someone about safety usually backfires. Sharing information and offering help works much better.

7. Quick Safety Checklist

Print this checklist and go through it for each social media platform you use. Check off each item as you complete it.

Account Security

  • I use a strong, unique password for each social media account
  • I have turned on two-factor authentication
  • I have reviewed and removed any third-party apps connected to my accounts
  • I have logged out of devices I no longer use

Privacy Settings

  • My accounts are set to private or Friends Only
  • I have hidden my friends or followers list from the public
  • I have turned off location sharing on my posts
  • I review tags before they appear on my profile
  • I have turned off facial recognition where available

Safe Posting Habits

  • I do not share my full birthday (including year) publicly
  • I do not post my home address, phone number, or financial details
  • I share vacation photos after I return, not during the trip
  • I do not participate in quizzes that ask for personal information
  • I check in with family members about their social media safety regularly

When Something Seems Wrong

  • I know how to report a suspicious profile or message on each platform I use
  • I know to verify requests for money by calling the person directly
  • I have a trusted person I can ask when something feels off online
Tip: Set a quarterly reminder on your calendar to review your social media privacy settings. Platforms update their settings frequently, and your preferences may be reset without notice.

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